“Broken!” Miles exclaimed. “It’s broken!” he repeated, his frustration building.

It took me a moment to catch on. My nearly three-year-old was standing in front of the TV, furiously trying to swipe at Daniel Tiger with his index finger. Then it clicked—he was trying to move the character like he would on a tablet. And just like that, I was witnessing a quintessential digital-age moment: a young child grappling with the realization that not all screens are touchscreens.

My oldest is no longer a preschooler; he’s heading to high school next year. And while so much attention is placed on his generation’s tech habits, a new study from Common Sense Media called The 2025 Common Sense Census: Media use by Kids Zero to Eight reveals that the tapping and swiping that felt novel a decade ago now defines the digital world of young children.

The Digital Shift: How Screen Time is Changing

Kids today are spending about the same amount of time with screens as they did in 2020—an average of about two and a half hours a day. How they’re using that time, however, is evolving. Here are some key takeaways from the Common Sense Media report:

• Children are getting their own screens at a younger age. By age two, four in ten kids have their own tablets. By age eight, one in four has their own cellphone. Among kids who have a phone, nearly 80% have a smartphone with access to the internet, apps, and/or videos.
• Gaming is on the rise. Total time spent playing games (on consoles, computers, smartphones, tablets, or handhelds) has increased 65% since 2020. Five to eight year olds showed the biggest jumps in total gaming time.
• Kids are spending less time watching TV and more time watching videos, including short-form videos. Watching videos on YouTube is now common and short-form video watching on platforms like YouTube Shorts, Reels, and TikTok is gaining popularity (though still only accounts for 16% of the proportion of total TV/video viewing).
• Artificial intelligence is making its way into early learning. Nearly a third of parents report that their kids have used AI for school-related activities.

Screens as Soothers?

These statistics paint a picture of childhood that is increasingly mobile, interactive, and shaped by algorithms and AI (more on that in future posts). But there’s another layer to consider. The study also found that one in five kids use screens for comfort, during meals, or to fall asleep. Notably, one quarter of parents use screen media to help their child calm down when they are angry or upset. That’s important because it means screens are not just for entertainment. For some, they’re becoming part of kids’ soothing strategies and daily routines.

What is the significance of this trend? Let’s go back to Miles and his anger at the TV. It makes sense! His plan to make Daniel Tiger move wasn’t working, and his young brain was still learning how to manage that frustration. He was only three, and his self-regulation skills were still under construction. So his frustration escalated quickly into a meltdown. It wasn’t lost on me that Daniel Tiger was singing in the background, offering his helpful advice: “When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath and count to four.”

This all makes sense. Learning to manage big feelings is a core task of early childhood and its not uncommon for kids to be overwhelmed by their emotions. It’s also why this stage is considered a window of opportunity for building emotional regulation skills. It’s during this time that, “Whatever the brain does a lot of, is what the brain gets good at.” Now in middle school, Miles still experiences frustration. On some days, just like for adults, it overwhelms him. But most of the time, he uses a variety of tools to manage it, including deep breathing. Daniel Tiger would be proud.

A Healthy Toolkit Has a Variety of Tools

The key takeaway isn’t that using screens to cope with challenging emotions is always and inherently bad – it’s the child and the patterns that matter. Let’s not carry the extra weight of shame and judgement for putting on a show during a uniquely tough moment or using the distraction of a video to get through a grocery store trip after a sleepless night. For some families, managing big emotions is a team effort, and they may be working with their care team to incorporate screens as part of a structured plan. There’s also no need to lament every time a teen watches a video to cheer themselves up or plays a mindless game for distraction. Sometimes, these are the best choices available for the moment. Media can even teach positive lessons about feelings (cue the Daniel Tiger song again).

It only becomes a concern when technology turns into the default strategy for managing big feelings across different situations and over time. When screens become the primary coping mechanism, they can crowd out opportunities to practice other ways of handling emotions—or to settle into sleep.

While feelings like frustration, anger, worry, grief, and sadness might not be pleasant, they offer important learning opportunities. Some types of screen time may temporarily distract from these feelings, but the ultimate goal is to learn how to navigate them. As parents and caregivers, we play a crucial role in helping young children create powerful templates for answering essential questions like:

• What am I feeling?
• How can I express it without hurting myself or others?
• What can I learn from these feelings?
• What can I do to help myself feel better?

It’s not always easy work, but it’s important. This is why the American Academy of Pediatrics now includes “Calm” as one of the “Five Cs” of media use, reminding us that healthy technology use shouldn’t crowd out the important developmental task of emotional management. 

The latest Common Sense Media report shows that while most parents are concerned about the negative impacts of media on children, they also recognize technology as a valuable tool for learning, connection, and positive content. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but there is plenty of reliable guidance to help us navigate this dilemma. Let’s lean on the “Five Cs” as reminders of what matters most. Let’s prioritize relationships, encourage play, and set healthy boundaries. And let’s not forget to keep practicing and strengthening the skills needed to manage emotions—both our children’s and our own. There’s a window of opportunity here. Let’s step into it.

Befriend Feelings (Instead of Battling Them)

Our feelings, whether they are comfortable or not, serve a function and can give us important information about our lives and our wellbeing. So instead of engaging in battle with our feelings, we might try befriending them instead. And teaching our kids to do the same. Read more.

Big Feelings? Don’t Skip These Three Steps

Big feelings are certainly messy, frustrating, and overwhelming sometimes – for both kids and adults alike. That’s why it is helpful to have a roadmap for a different way to navigate emotional storms that is more aligned with what is happening inside our bodies and brains. Next time you and your child or teen are overwhelmed by big feelings, try responding with these three steps. Read more.

Our Kids Don’t Need Perfection – They Need You

Here’s the good news – parenting, like being a human, is not a pass or fail enterprise. It is not a fixed ability that either leads to great kids or doesn’t. It is something that we work at, day in and day out. Some days we are our best selves. Other days not so much. When we know better, we do better and then we work to mend it. Read more.