The school year starts and, it’s easy to get caught up in logistics—schedules, transportation, supplies, before and after school care, and on and on. I approach these tasks with mixed feelings: on one hand, I’m already nostalgic for the more relaxed pace of summer; on the other, I’m slightly desperate for routine. Hence my focus on getting things in order.

In our haste to get organized though, let’s not forget to name and prioritize the intangibles that will have a powerful impact on our kids’ experiences at school and home. They that aren’t as easy to capture in checklists or pack into backpacks, but form a powerful foundation for learning and growth:

Belonging

Many parents worry that their kids won’t “fit in” at school, yet research shows that fitting in is far less important than belonging. Fitting in can be detrimental when kids are concealing or diminishing important parts of themselves to do so. Belonging happens when young people connect with others while staying true to themselves.

We don’t do kids any favors by ignoring what makes them unique and whole. They need opportunities to talk about and celebrate their growing identities, including their interests, culture, race, gender, disability, and more. From early childhood through adolescence, young people benefit from adults who, like Mister Rogers, consistently communicate, “I like you just the way you are.”

Belonging in schools is like the glue that holds everything together. When kids feel connected and valued, they are more likely to engage in learning, take risks, and develop positive relationships with peers and teachers.

Focus

Attention is a neurological superpower. Our ability to prioritize some pieces of information over others helps us stay safe, react quickly, and move toward our goals. Attention is the gateway to learning and memory.

That’s why it’s concerning that one-third of K-12 teachers reported last year that students being distracted by their phones was a “major problem” in the classroom. That number jumped to 72% among high school teachers. We know that phones are built to capture and hold our attention. They are distracting by design. One study with college students showed that the mere presence of smartphones resulted in lower performance on tests of attention.

Schools nationwide are instituting phone bans in hopes of increasing focus and improving student mental health. While we don’t yet have robust data on the impacts of cell phone policies on these outcomes, the studies we do have point to small but measurable benefits for academic achievement. Connecting the dots between the science of attention, educator feedback, and initial data on learning and social interactions, it’s certainly worth limiting personal phone use in schools.

But let’s be clear – while cell phone policies are important, they won’t solve everything.  If students, staff, and families don’t understand the policy and implementation is inconsistent or unfair, we aren’t likely to see much benefit. Plus let’s not let our focus on phones distract from other essential priorities for student mental health – including belonging, school safety, digital mentorship and skill building, equitable learning environments, and accessible mental healthcare. 

(Some) Stress

Stress is tricky. Too much stress is toxic to physical and mental health. Yet a certain amount of stress is a normal part of growing up. If students interpret any signs of distress as an indication of failure or pathology, they are more likely to retreat from the very experiences they need to learn and grow.

This is is why teaching a “stress can be enhancing” mindset is highly protective for mental health. This approach helps kids reframe struggle as a sign of learning rather than failure. This mindset can help kids reframe their stress response to positive challenges. For example, “This amount of stress is manageable and can help me get where I want to go.”

This isn’t about putting a positive spin on toxic stress. Persistent and significant stressors have negative impacts on health and well-being. Asking students to reframe stress in response to issues like racism, abuse, or bullying is not only harmful but downright dangerous.

But when it comes to the positive (but challenging) experiences at our learning edges, we can remind kids that a moderate stress response can be manageable and beneficial. It’s our body’s way of telling us that we are about to learn and grow.

Independence and Agency

Warm and caring connections with adults are key to resilience. But today’s kids are more likely than those in previous generations to be under constant supervision and adult instruction. Evidence shows that kids’ freedom to engage in independent activities has declined significantly over the last four or five decades. This includes unstructured outdoor play, biking or walking to school, and participating in community activities independently.

Playing, roaming, and contributing is key to healthy development and also make kids feel better. Yet the right to play and enjoy independent activities is not equitably distributed among kids and teens. So simply saying, “we should let kids play and roam” is insufficient in the face of these challenges. Let’s couple a commitment to nurturing independent activities with a commitment to creating systems where all kids can enjoy and benefit from them.

The list of things our kids are capable of doing together is endless—if only we create safe enough opportunities for them to try.

Compassion

The Latin root of the word compassion is compassio, which translates to “suffering with” or “to suffer together.” While many people use compassion and empathy interchangeably, they describe distinct emotional experiences. Empathy is our ability to take someone else’s perspective or feel their emotions. Compassion compels us to take action to alleviate someone’s suffering. Research has found that practicing compassion can improve health, well-being, and relationships, as well as academic achievement. 

In today’s hyper-connected world, students are constantly exposed to crisis and suffering, both locally and globally. Compassionate action offers a powerful alternative to unhealthy coping mechanisms like blaming, numbing, or avoiding. Compassion encourages us to slow down, engage our curiosity, and approach others with care. It is grounded in mutual aid and relationships, not pity or saviorism. We can’t turn compassion off or on with a switch. It’s an emotional architecture and set of skills that is strengthened from early childhood through adolescence. I can’t imagine a more essential part of life’s curriculum.

What would you add to this list of priorities?