Summer arrives, and it’s easy to get caught up in planning—camps, childcare, screen time limits, and all the logistics that come with the shift. I approach this season with mixed feelings: part of me craves the slower pace and open-ended days; another part already anticipates the chaos of too much unstructured time. For many families, summer doesn’t always bring rest. It brings new routines, shifting expectations, and a different kind of mental load.

In our haste to get organized, though, let’s not forget to name and prioritize the intangibles that will shape our kids’ experiences this summer. These are the things that don’t fit neatly into calendars or camp bags—but they form the foundation for connection and growth in the months ahead.

These may seem like “soft” or hard-to-pin-down priorities—easily dismissed in the face of the very real and urgent challenges we’re navigating. But the research is clear: far from superfluous, these essentials strengthen our resilience and help us turn toward each other when we need it most.

Room to Roam

Free play and independent activities aren’t just fun. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, play is essential to kids’ health and development. There is growing evidence that independent activities are protective for mental health and wellbeing. They give kids and teens the chance to practice skills like managing risk, creative problem solving, and responsibility. It feels good to feel capable.

Ask yourself,

• Does my child or teen have frequent opportunities to experience independent play or self-directed activities alone or with friends?
• Can they enjoy these activities with the “right amount” of risk (not free of risk but not dangerous)?
• What are the constraints that limit those freedoms? Can I change any of them?
• What are my fears about those activities? How can I tell whether they’re rooted in real risks or just perceived ones?
• What supports and resources do I have access to for “safe enough” places and times where kids can play and move about freely?
• What are one or two activities that I currently do for my child or teen and that they could do on their own or with friends?
• What are one or two activities that I currently do for our family that my child or teen would enjoy doing for our family?

Downtime and Mind Wandering

It turns out that prioritizing downtime isn’t about retreating from the world or abandoning our goals—it may allow us to engage with both more thoughtfully and creatively. In an era of lightning-fast information, packed schedules, and constant engagement, our attention is frequently pulled outward by tasks, activities, and devices. It’s easy to override our brain’s need to pause, wander, and make meaning of what we are experiencing.

Try,

• Creating more open space in our schedules when possible. We can challenge the idea that unstructured time is “wasted” by discussing why we value it.
• Acknowledging structural drivers. The systems we operate within often demand our time and attention while providing little support for rest and downtime. Acknowledging this is important. Work to organize for change when possible.
• Engaging kids in empathetic conversations about the pressures pulling time and attention outward. Where do these pressures come from? How do they feel? What choices do they have?
• Prioritizing time for simple, repetitive tasks that may not seem “productive” but encourage mind wandering—activities like dot-to-dot, knitting, coloring, or walking. Occasionally replace podcasts or videos with music, which is more likely to facilitate mind wandering.
• Encouraging small moments for quiet reflection, family rituals, awe-seeking, time in nature, or “active noticing.”
• Experimenting with device-free time—not because all technology is harmful, but because, as Sherry Turkle reminds us, “To make our life livable, we have to have spaces where we are fully present to each other or to ourselves, where we’re not competing with the roar of the Internet.”

Curiosity

The absence of curiosity doesn’t just result in less information and knowledge. It shuts us off from the stories, experiences, and perspectives of others. Approaching the world without curiosity is likely to cement our own biases, erode mental health, and make it more difficult to connect. Indeed, studies show that less curiosity contributes to loneliness and isolation. Curiosity, like other skills that power our emotional intelligence, is a practice. Let’s practice it this summer.

Try

• Modeling curiosity. We can express wonder, ask questions big and small, and explore alongside our kids. Let’s practice saying, “I wonder…” instead of “Let me tell you.”
• Encouraging explorations. Try “That’s a great question! What can you do next to explore that?”
• Acknowledging biases and assumptions. This models that our perspectives and perceptions are not “The Truth.” We are willing to change our minds.
• Befriending our feelings. We tend to think of curiosity as a cheerful and energized state. But moving towards our emotions, even the painful ones, is part of how we stay curious and connect with others.
• Searching for stories. As author Scott Shigeoka notes, “We need to become the kind of people who search for stories rather than positions, and values instead of views.” Ask others to share their stories, choose media that delivers compelling stories, tell family stories, and seek out stories from people with perspectives and experiences different from our own. 

Awe

Awe works in unique ways against the kind of individualism, isolation, and nihilism that many kids and adults report experiencing right now. It makes us more inclined to see and help each other, cooperate, share resources, and put collective needs ahead of our own. This means that the busier, more isolated, and more overwhelmed we feel, the more we need awe. Indeed, noticing when we feel awe-deprived is an essential skill. The good news? Awe is accessible in our daily lives.

Try,

• Reading Deborah Farmer Kris’ new book Raising Awe Seekers.
• Noticing and attending to the “moral beauty” of others. Simply noticing and being open to people’s kindness, courage or strength can evoke awe. Look for it and point it out to kids. Let the good in when kids point it out to us as well.
• Engaging in active noticing. Awe researchers note that awe often comes up through novelty. Seek out new experiences and pay attention to the moral and natural beauty you find there.
• Taking an awe walk. This comes naturally to toddlers so if you have one, follow their lead. Put your device away and take a walk that allows you to observe nature, people, and interactions around you with more intention.
• Choosing media with awe in mind. While scrolling mindlessly through Instagram may seem like the opposite of an awe inducing experience (and certainly can be), evidence shows that media can induce awe. Choose media that depicts “moral beauty,” stirring storytelling, or bring us into the wonders of the natural world.
• Integrating the arts. Arts reliably bring us into relationship with others and invite us into experiences that challenge or transform our views. Attend arts offerings or participate in them through song, dance, or other collective creative practices.
• Inviting awe, not forcing it. We can seek out the conditions that elicit awe or draw our attention to things that evoke awe in us. But we cannot force awe on others. Keep offering warm invitations and know that our kids will find their own way to awe.