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Communication

teen on their cell phone

New Report: A Week in the Life of Kids and Their Phones

When asked how much time this generation of kids spends on their phones, most of us would simply answer, “A lot.” Research backs this up. We have lots of data about average screen time and trends related to screen use. Yet rough measures of “screen time” only tell us part of the story. Learning more…  Read More

A group of teenagers seeking independence while out on a walk

Why Teens Respond Better to Collaboration Than Commands

“I need you to get going!” I told my middle schooler. This reminder came at the end of instructions about what-to-do-next in the unstructured day ahead. My pre-teen, more engaged in a podcast than my game plan, didn’t budge. I considered increasing volume, providing more information, or adding in some exasperated sighs for emphasis. Before…  Read More

teenager scrolling on their cell phone

Teens and Phones: How To Talk About Summer Scrolling

Set Boundaries AND Activate Awareness

“Here is what I know I don’t want,” a high school junior recently shared. “ A summer of scrolling. A little bit is fine – you know, to just relax and check out for a bit. But I don’t want to get lost there all summer.”  This young person’s reflection comes at just the right time for…  Read More

Tween at desk looking at laptop

Teens on Social Media: Is There a Case to Delay?

“I am just going to delay as long as I can,” a parent recently shared with me. She added, “I just don’t even want to deal with social media until high school.”  “Yes, I can relate,” I replied thinking of my own middle schooler at home and my intermittent impulses to move deep into the…  Read More

Mom and teenager laughing and connecting

Identity in Adolescence

When Teens Push Us Away, Let's Get Creative With Connection

“I know that I want to raise an independent kid who eventually goes off into the world,” a parent recently shared. “But I just don’t like this in between part.”  “What part?” I asked.  “Oh just the part where they wrench themselves away from the family and treat me like an unwanted roommate,” they replied…  Read More

Child laying on stomach playing video games with a headset on

Five Ways to Ease Screen Time Transitions

“There is nothing to do,” my youngest kid wailed again. In case we hadn’t heard he increased his volume when he repeated the word nothing. Then he scanned our home as if it were a barren wasteland.  I glanced at him and within seconds could pick out any number of enjoyable activities he could try…  Read More

Parent and teen looking at phone together

Does Your Kid Want a Phone? Consider These 5 Questions First

“My seventh grader is begging for a phone. I keep going back and forth about whether I think she’s old enough,” a parent recently shared. “Honestly,” he went on, “I’m not sure I’m ready.” “I love that you are thinking about that second part,” I responded.  “What do you mean?” he asked.  “Well, we tend…  Read More

White teenager laying on bed looking at their cell phone. Their face is illuminated by the glow of the phone.

New Report Reminds Us (Again) To Talk to Young People About Porn

“When did you start talking to your kids about online porn?” a friend recently asked me, wincing a bit at the prospect of embarking on the conversations herself someday.  My face likely mirrored a similar set of tortured emotions as I responded, “Much earlier than I would have liked to. But when you look at…  Read More

Two teens sitting on a bench looking at their phones together

When Phones Get in the Way of Connection (and When They Don’t)

“Hm hmmm?” I said, vaguely attending to my youngest child’s in-depth description of what features he would add to a Minecraft realm if given full coding control. My attention was split between his description (which could go on without end) and scrolling through a headline a friend had texted me.  Actually I hadn’t made a…  Read More

Child centered in a warm brown background expressing anger.

Rethinking Emotional Explosions

“Your turn!” one of my kids shouted to the other. I looked over to the kitchen table to see that they were engaged in one one of the many card games they had picked up at school. Buoyed by the warm glow of sibling cooperation, I turned to go upstairs.  It turns out that the…  Read More