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Teenagers

How To Negotiate With Your Teen

Without Being a Pushover

“Dad, Andy just called and his family is heading out to dinner and he wants to know if I can come. Can I?” My son Brian asked. “That sounds fun but you promised to clean up the basement today.” I responded. “Dad, Andy is leaving for the summer this weekend and this is my chance…  Read More

Toddlers and TV

Toddlers and TV: Zombies, Distracted, or Engaged?

“My kids constantly move from one activity to the next – except when it comes to toddlers and TV. Should I be worried when my 5 year old just sits and stares at the screen?” When TV was still a fairly new pastime for kids, researchers coined the term “zombie effect” to describe the glassy-eyed,…  Read More

Dad putting hand on shoulder of teenage son to stay connected

Parenting Teens – Staying Connected As Your Child Grows Up

“I’m afraid I might just disappear” In my early twenties I facilitated a workshop with middle schoolers around the theme of courage. The teachers warned me that one student might be a bit difficult to deal with. “She’s always acting out and challenging authority,” one of the teachers said. The workshop went along uneventfully until…  Read More

Child eating marshmallows, reminiscent of the famous marshmallow experiment at Stanford in the 1970s.

Another Take on the Marshmallow Experiment

Why Trust is a Critical Ingredient in Self-Control

“Moot!” my son exclaimed happily. “More moot!” In order to make sure that he got his message through to me he proudly showed me his empty milk glass. I reassured him that I would return to the dining room with more milk after I checked in on dinner simmering on the stove. For a thirsty…  Read More

Back of teenagers head looking at computer with phone near her

Decrease Digital Distractions and Increase Productivity

8 Parenting Tips to Help Your Child Focus

I just wrote a blog post about self-regulation, technology, and the importance of managing the environment to set our kids (and ourselves) up for success. Here are 8 ways to decrease digital distractions and increase productivity: Cut out background media and discourage multitasking (the exception to this might be calm music for some kids) when…  Read More

Image of a phone with lots of notifications illustrating digital distractions

Self Control in the Digital Age

We live in a world that begs our attention and engagement at every turn. Even as I settle in to write this blog post, Ping! A new email; Beep! someone posted on my Facebook timeline; Bzzz. my phone alerts me to a text even though I’ve put it on vibrate in a weak attempt to…  Read More

Girl using executive function skills to pay attention in class

Executive Function: Skills for School and Life

Want your child to succeed in school and life? Then look beyond IQ scores and test results. We’ve written before about the importance of self-discipline, but the story doesn’t end there. A whole host of mental skills—constituting what is called executive function–determine how as opposed to what we learn. Emerging research is clear that these…  Read More

Divorced parents sitting on opposite ends of the couch with child in the middle.

Discipline Tips for Divorced Parents

“I asked mom and she already said it was okay for me to go out with my friends tonight.” “But dad never makes me do my homework before I play video games!” Sound familiar? Parenting across two households can be a real challenge. Working through the pain of ending a committed relationship into a working…  Read More

8 Steps for Setting Limits

We know that setting limits is key to the development of respect, empathy, and self-discipline. That said, setting and enforcing them aren’t always easy. Try these tips to get started: Get real. Remind yourself that it is your child’s job to push against the limits and your job to set them. Some children will push…  Read More

Child looking very angry and frustrated

Avoiding Power Struggles With Your Child or Teen

For lots of parents, simple conversations can quickly escalate into a power struggle. As our kids start flexing their own muscles of independence, one of their developmental jobs is to find the outer boundaries of appropriate behavior. How far can I go? Who cares? This is especially true during key developmental windows (namely, the “terrible…  Read More