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Tag: Racism

Child raising her arms in defiance feeling lots of emotions

The Goal of Emotional Regulation is Not Quiet, Compliant Kids

The lessons we learn about feelings are powerful. From a very young age we are taught in both spoken and unspoken ways which feelings (and associated behaviors) are welcome and which aren’t. A parent shared with me after a workshop a couple of years ago, “I was always told in one hundred different ways that…  Read More

Protesters holding sign that says Black Lives Matter

Practicing Anti-Racism in Parenting

As many of you who follow our work already know, our family lives and works in South Minneapolis. This week our city has been on fire in the wake of the brutal murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer. In reality our city has been burning for a long time. This is happening…  Read More

Child experiencing anxiety and worry

Stress in Children

Helping Kids and Teens Handle Worry

I was recently asked to try to go back to my own childhood and try to remember the things that I worried most about when I was young. Closing my eyes, it didn’t take me long to channel my inner child and generate a robust list of worries that ranged from, “my basement” to, “an…  Read More

Child holding single pink rose in the wake of a tragedy like a mass shooting

Helping Kids Cope With Tragedy

Age-by-age advice from early childhood through adolescence

Unfortunately, mass shootings and racialized violence are not uncommon in the United States. Even if they don’t happen in their community, children and teens hear about them from friends and in the news. These events may cause children to fear that an event like this could happen to them or their parents. All of us,…  Read More

White parents talking to their children about race

White Parents – Talk With Kids About Race and Racism

“Whoever tells the stories, defines the culture.” My oldest son and his friends have been watching a lot of The Who Was? Show on Netflix. The series explores the lives of famous people from history. Before dinner recently he excitedly listed all the people he had learned about. After reciting the names he made this…  Read More

Looking down on two different color shoes to symbolize empathy, standing in someone else's shoes

Empathy and Teens: Raising Kids Who Care

“I’d like you to close your eyes,” I often say at workshops that I facilitate across the country. “Now visualize the kind of adults you hope your children become.” I add that I am not interested in them conjuring up logistical visions, for example, where they hope their children go to school or the kind…  Read More

Child eating a marshmallow similar to Stanford University's famous "marshmallow experiment"

Grade for Grit? Not A Good Idea

A lot of parents have asked us over the years whether or not they should do the marshmallow experiment with their kids to ‘test’ their self-control. While asked half in jest, it is clearly tempting for them to want to assess this critical character trait in their children. If self-discipline is so important, the logic…  Read More